Seven Days Until Doom
by Teyashi
Summary: Every generation, the stars around planet Irk align in a specific way, and all Irkens spend time in isolation from the rest of the race. On Earth, this should have been easy for Zim. That is, if Tak wasn't on the warpath. Rated for eccetera.


_**The Night Before**_

Teyashi: Welcome my good ladies and gentlemen. I did mention that this was upcoming, and here it is. I don't own Invader Zim, or Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

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The city was dark, or at least as dark as cities get nowadays. To the casual observer, it held no more danger than any other metropolitan center in the nation. Given most casual observers in the area are functionally retarded, they obvious sounds laser fire would go unnoticed, as would the two green aliens firing said lasers. Zim, with a Kill-o-Zap pistol in each out and firing at the other alien in question. "You think Tak would find something better to do with her time than foolishly assault the mighty ZIM!" Zim muttered loudly.

"You're the only fool here, Zim!" Tak shouted, returning fire with a Kill-o-Zap rifle of her own, "This planet is mine to conquer as soon as I dispose of you. Just do Irk a favor and DIE ALREADY!" Zim ran further down the alley, dodging the death rays, and fled out into the next street with Tak hot on his heels. Suddenly haloed by light, he turned to see an oncoming car. Thinking quickly, he shot the near wheel, sending the vehicle careening towards Tak. She jump and rolled, clearing the car easily but none the less slowed down. 'You won't stop me that easily, Zim,' Tak thought as she continued after said Invader.

In the month previous, strange things had started showing up on Zim's orbital scans. While most of it had appeared to be debris, the chunks seemed to be semi-cloaked. When a piece landed close to the city, Zim brought it to his lab for examination. It was shattered chunks of an Irken ship, with the external parts coated with a material that wouldn't register on most Irken observational readings. Zim, being Zim, paid no heed to it. The morning before the gun fight, a large amount of said material as found to be crashing down within a few miles of the city. Zim, being too busy weaponizing ferrets, ignored it. It wasn't until Tak showed up at his front door with a phaser and a grudge did he figure out what the object was, Tak's escape pod.

Zim bolted into a construction site, hoping to lose her among the girders and drywall. Taking cover behind a stack of sheet rock, he listened for signs of pursuit. He felt the temptation to call Gir for back-up until he remembered two things. First, sending a transmission now would alert Tak to his exact location. Second, Gir wouldn't be of any good help. 'Wait,' Zim suddenly thought, 'Where's Mimi?' He looked up to see a set of bright red eyes staring at him from the steel skeleton of what would soon be a new office building. Zim, throwing caution to the wind, opened fire on the modified SIR unit. Mimi easily dodged the shots, climbing and flying through the girders with minimal effort before landing at the feet of her master at the entrance of the site.

"Shit," Zim muttered, 'I know I can beat her. I am Zim after all. This is simply going to make things more difficult. I need to finish my ferrets before…Wait, tomorrow is…Double shit.'

"It's over, Zim," Tak said walking slowly over to the sheetrock stack, "I'm finally going to have my revenge for the academy." Zim, not listening, was busy checking his watch. 11:26 pm.

"Tak, do you know what day tomorrow is?" Zim shouted.

"Are you even listening to me?" Tak replied, furious at his continued…Zimishness.

"Mont'Iroh'Ka starts at midnight earth time!" Zim yelled back, a hint of panic in his voice, "you only have around thirty Earth minutes before it begins."

"Irk Damn it! Fine, but I will return to finish what I started after this is over."

"Don't worry, Tak. You can get beaten by Zim anytime you want." Tak scowled at the statement, but she was more concerned with being as far away as she could get before midnight.

Gir was sitting on the couch in Zim's base, watching a marathon of the Scary Monkey Show. The blown out hole where the door used to be and the laser burns all over the living room did nothing to curb the robot's enthusiasm for his favorite show. Zim stumbled back into his base, exhausted. "Computer, do something about the hole in the wall."

"Master, how was your time with the green lady?" Gir asked as Zim passed by.

"Gir, I spent the last four and a half hours in a gun fight. How do you think it went!"

"Um, albatross?"

"Shut up Gir."

Tak stood on a hill at the edge of town, looking ruefully back at the town. 'My ultimate revenge, ruined again by that idiot's luck. Damn it, I was so close! Mont'Iroh'Ka…Fuck it. Fuck tradition, fuck rules, and fuck it all. I'm going to destroy him, star alignment or not.'

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Teyashi: Short, but this is only the prologue. So…:3…Jesus Christ, it's a lion! Get in the car!


End file.
